10 hidden dangers in marriage
See what ambush in your marriage?
Being Flex is about getting Flex to the right place and knowing where the itch is.
Divorced Zhang Yimou didn’t need to tickle, so he had time to make a movie “Ambush in Ten Faces”, saying that the rivers and lakes were sinister and ambush in ten faces.
And it is not only the rivers and lakes that are sinister, but also our marriage. Perhaps from the day on the red carpet, this mark has been irretrievably stamped.
From “seven years of itching” to “ambush on ten sides”, marriage is a war between two people, a contest between the highest intelligence and the largest number of characters between husband and wife.
有人说得好：“当妻子站在厨房，默默地刷着盘子，当丈夫拿着一张报纸，对着电视发呆，一场时时有机关、处处是‘埋伏’的战争，就已经静悄悄地it has started.
“In a reporter’s interview with nearly 20 couples, they talked about the following stories and scenes of life, and their tone was calm and vicissitudes.
The first ambush: hastily married, leaving hidden dangers.
”Marriage” literally means that when a woman faints, she finds someone to end it.
In fact, many couples have proved that this word was not created by our ancestors casually. Once they were dazzled by love, they immediately ran to the Civil Affairs Bureau and wanted to fasten this person.
But it wasn’t until the set of chains was found that this person was not suitable for him, and became a tasteless, unfortunate piece of chicken ribs.
Not enough time to try to fully understand each other, not enough time to calmly think about the relationship between the two, has become the biggest hidden danger left by hasty marriage in the future.
Sometimes, the “blitz” marriage is about to be confused by some false appearances in love.
When a wife who has been married for one year now asks her husband to accompany him to go shopping, the husband always says that he doesn’t want to go. The wife is puzzled: “Don’t you enjoy shopping in the mall?
The husband said, “That’s not chasing you!
“I feel wronged in order to please each other.
Married, got it, and the fox’s tail will naturally show up.
Others’ hastily married because they were not psychologically ready.
The words of a 25-year-old man who has been a father before are particularly sad: “Sometimes I can’t help but think that I am still a little child. I haven’t finished my own business, but I have to bear two other people in a blink of an eye.Life, just like having a dream, I really feel confused . “Maybe we don’t need to set a hard time for a common life before marriage as some people say” two years in love, three years living together “.However, only after knowing each other, being psychologically prepared, and having a certain realistic foundation, can a marriage start a good start.
The second ambush: Too busy and indifferent to each other.
In Jin Yong’s novel Snow Mountain Flying Fox, when Miao Renfeng’s beautiful wife Nan Lan turned to Tian Guinong’s embrace, she said affectionately to Tian Guinong: “You and my husband’s names should be reversed.Match.
He’d better return to farming and farming, and you’re really a phoenix among people.
The reason for Nan Lan to express this love is that the hero Miao Ren Feng Chengtian only knew to practice his Miao family sword, and his wife was unhappy. He never managed it.
Many men have become modern versions of the “Miaorenfeng”, and many women are probably no exception, and “strong women” are naturally busy.
Maybe someone is wronged: I’m busy, isn’t it all for this family?
Yes, no one doubts your motivation for being busy, and believes that you are indeed “busy at work”, but what is more important in life is actually its process, rather than giving up the cost of the present in exchange for the future.
At the same time, if you are really for this family, but the family is broken in the end, what’s the point of a successful career?
Caring for and caring for each other, and giving love to the other half at any time, is the basis for the long and happy life of husband and wife.
What is certain is that the relationship between husband and wife is like raising flowers, and both parties need to constantly water and fertilize, so that their care will not wither.
It can be said that it is a great regret to be able to fight the invincible “Miao Renfeng”, but in the end, cannot help a beloved woman.
The third ambush: the child becomes a “third party.”
Many people liken children to the crystallization of love.
In modern society, this crystallization often only appears once, and it appears later than before, so when the belated little life finally opened his eyes, he glanced at his parents, the moment in human natureThe affection erupted immediately.
Touched, guilty, pitying or loving?
This belated parent-child feeling will merge the child’s gaze with his unbridled crying and flow into the hearts of the parents, so that many mothers and fathers find an emotional sustenance.
From feeding to kindergarten, unknowingly, there seems to be only that little baby in his eyes.
There is nothing wrong with loving children. Sometimes the wife of a new mother ignores her husband because she is too busy taking care of her baby.
Just after the reduction, you can’t forget that the other half around you also needs your love. This love is different from the love for children, it will be simpler and more forgiving.For example, when you buy milk powder for your baby, you don’t forget to buy a shirt or a razor for your husband by the way, the other party will be very satisfied.
The fourth ambush: life is becoming more and more bland, getting used to each other’s position.
Is there anything wrong with being bland?
Doesn’t someone say “nothing is true”?
However, psychologists say that for many years, two inner contradictions have been entangled in humans: Some people think that there are always people who want to find peace and stability in this world where there is sense, but they can be replaced.At the cost of losing life.
Therefore, I am afraid that no one can truly endure a long and dull life except for the Taoist monks in the temple.
More importantly, some couples have been living together for a long time, and they are often accustomed to such blandness. Over time, they gradually develop a sense of indifference to their loved ones.
The days are dull and dull in numbness, and there is no longer romance and passion in the eyes. Even if the wife changes 8 sets of underwear overnight, the husband will not find anything new.
Another introverted husband said: “My wife always thought that I would like to read the newspaper after work. In fact, I had nothing to do before I did this. I also wanted to go out with her and make a noise.
“Maybe we are married, there are more things to face, and it is impossible to be crazy every day like when we are in love. However, a small unexpected surprise is enough to make the calm emotional lake surge with beautiful waves.
The fifth ambush: the hopes of each other fail.
Some people say that with as many windows as there are in the city, people can find as many motivations and reasons for marriage.
And no matter how different the reason for everyone to lead that little red book, one thing can be the same: that is the expectation of the future, the expectation of the person who will live with himself.
But life often does n’t live up to your expectations. You expect him to make a fortune. Maybe he just takes two dollars a day to buy a lottery ticket. You expect his career to be successful. Maybe he can only discuss with you after workEmployment level.
Then, you finally couldn’t help it, you said: “You look at people and married us at the same time .” The more powerful point may come: “I was blind to marry you at first!”
“Think about it from another angle. Maybe your man is not the best, but he is probably the one who suits you best and loves you the most.
He loves you and will give you the greatest happiness and joy within his ability.
If you change to a millionaire or a man who is proud of his career, will he not give you the same love?
In the eyes of sociologists, the failure of expectations is one of the channels for humor.
For example, if you expect a hen to lay an egg, but a box of soap falls behind its butt, someone will laugh.
When you miss your loved one, do you also smile?
In fact, that smile contains your tolerance, understanding and encouragement for him.
The sixth ambush: Accumulate less damage into more damage.
There will be conflicts in people’s places. Couples face each other day and night. Of course, it is not enough to bump into each other. Noisy fights are inevitable, but it is not normal to do so.
However, there is a difference between quarreling and hurting each other.
If the two parties just express different opinions with angry expressions, this is a quarrel; if they also insult the other person’s personality by the way, trample on the other person’s self-esteem, this is hurt.
Quarrels can be “bedside quarrel at the end of the bed”, but the injury will leave a shadow, the other party may not say it, but the heart may be difficult to eliminate for life.
What I don’t understand is that many husbands and wives are always so polite outside. When they return home, they often hurt the people around them deeply.
Maybe they think: Can’t I vent on the closest person?
But I didn’t expect the other person’s feelings to be: Even the people closest to me hurt me so much . When the accumulation of hurts time and time again, one day it will form a hate, and the deeper the love, the deeper the hatred.
A friend can tolerate your shortcomings, but it’s impossible to tolerate the harm your shortcomings cause to him, and it also causes damage between husband and wife, really.
The seventh ambush: the flood of “skepticism”.
The more you care about, the more nervous it becomes.
After a long marriage, the middle-aged husband has also reached the period of “a flower” for men. Then, will this “flower” bloom quietly outside the house?
Anyway, first beware.
For example, check his wallet, look at his mobile phone, flip through his collar and smell the scent. He hasn’t even forgotten to check his performance on the bed . Can you find clues? That’s another way to say, anyway.The stone in my heart was not so old and so suspended.
As far as the “aesthetic fatigue” in the movie is concerned, it is necessary to give her husband a shot.
The problem is that you can’t be too hard. No one can take a shot every day.
Maybe some men are good, but you are pushed to the edge of derailment step by step, “Don’t you always trust me?OK, I’ll take a practical action, what’s wrong?
“Don’t think that rebellion can only be done by teenagers and forced into urgency. The so-called” don’t be confused “man should also” explode “.
A husband said well: “My wife is such a smart and charming woman. Take a step back and say, even if I really have something to say to her, I think I can’t help but confess to her.
“So, first of all, I believe that I have the charm to tie up my husband’s heart, secondly give him a degree of trust to the greatest extent, and finally use wisdom to change from passive to active, and eliminate his” evil thoughts “in a” germination state. ”
This is the difference between a clever wife and a confused wife in the face of this matter.
The eighth ambush: the difference is expanding step by step.
There is a gap between men and women. Some women like Romance, but men like Normandy; women like fashion, and men like fashion models.
For husbands and wives, there are differences in life taste, value orientation, hobbies, etc., which can directly make the world of the two more diversified, which can also fit the law of “complementarity”.
The fear is that beyond these gaps, there is no common point of interest between the two.
On the weekend night, you read your fashion magazine, he yelled in front of the TV: “I ×, why not get in one!
“You call him a lunatic, he said you know what to enjoy life.
Each other feels that each other has no taste, and each other is maintaining a spiritual superiority.
So, the duo world finally becomes you and a magazine, he and a TV.
It is very dangerous for a wife who is pursuing fashion to get along with her husband who is “stubborn” in her eyes. If there is no timely communication and communication, and no mutual help and adjustment, one day will have an inexplicable aversion.Feelings, at that time, he would be pleasing to the eye.
The ninth ambush: lack of color in emotional life.
Some people say that the love between husband and wife is going to deteriorate after all, from beautiful and romantic love into a flesh-and-blood relationship.
This is because marriage is longer than love.
So under this kind of real marriage, the emotional life is in a “weak” state, there is no longer any “innovation”, and it has become a thick and thick line in oil-salt rice.
The husband no longer bought roses for his wife, and he thought it would be better to bring back a packet of salt.
My wife knows that she does n’t put soup stock when cooking. Every month, you can make the gas meter lose one word. You can save a pair of slippers with bare feet for two years at home. You can save one kilowatt-hour for one month by watching a telescope on the balcony.It’s her mouth that’s stubborn, all day long, you shouldn’t be like this, you better be like that.
Lost emotional color, replaced by the machinery of life, stereotypes and cumbersome.
In fact, if men experience more wind and rain, they will have depth; if women stay at home for a long time, they will also bring the charm of mature women; the charm of mature men and mature women is definitely a beautiful landscape, the important thing is thatYou should know how to show in front of each other and how to find new ways to express each other’s admiration and affection, and you should not lose all the sense of color because of a common marriage life.
The tenth ambush: “things in the room” became unspeakable.
Putting it on the last item by no means means that it doesn’t matter.
Maybe some people think that sex has become less important when married.
Indeed, family life must first think of chai oil and salt and children go to school. Sex does not know which corner it was forced to. This is probably the reason why many Chinese women are willing to live faithfully without orgasm.
However, we must not forget that sex is also a standard of modern life. No matter how to avoid it, whether it is harmonious or not will affect other aspects of life.
If marriage is the delivery of body and soul to each other, then it can be said that physical needs are the most basic needs in marriage, and physical happiness is also the most fundamental happiness. Without all this, the happiness of marriage will be greatly discounted.
Please don’t feel embarrassed by your body’s desires, boldly point out your feelings and expectations, and then adjust each other’s sincerity, so that the body is still deeply infatuated with each other and let happiness last forever.
To love someone is to have joy in life; to have perfect sex with someone you love is to have joy in joy.
Not giving up the right to pursue happiness in terms of sex is not to turn us into pure hedonists. On the contrary, it is just a means to better flavor and serve real life.
For couples facing each other, conquering each other’s soul may begin with conquering their bodies.